The Need to Prove Yourself

Up until the age of 19-20, I’ve felt that I followed a fairly conventional path in life. I did what I was expected to do and did not have any plans to deviate from it. Then when I turned 21, I’ve gone on my first major overseas trip. It was 3 weeks in South America. The trip itself was very enjoyable, but more than that – when I came back, something changed within me.

There were two discoveries that I’ve made during that trip that influenced many of my choices that followed:

The first discovery was that the world is a much smaller place than we make it out to be. Through lack of knowledge, incorrect facts that come from our friends and families, and general fear of the unknown, we divide the world in two zones – safe and off-limit. The safe one is Europe, vacation resorts, places we hear a lot about. Unsafe is everything that sounds exotic and far – Africa, South America, Asia. It’s a silly preconception and going to one of the “off-limit” countries for the first time quickly proved that the world and the people, no matter how far away, are not as different as we make them out to be.

The next discovery – even bigger in magnitude and impact – was the fact that it was actually possible for me to go and spend 3 weeks in South America. Me – the person that has never really traveled far and on my own; the person that typically stayed within the boundaries of reasonable and what was expected. It was mind-boggling to start thinking about the possibilities. Possibilities in terms of travel and all the countries that previously only captured the imagination, but suddenly started to seem attainable. But it could even been taken beyond travel – possibilities in terms of life options and things that I could do. What if all those things that we often talk about, but never actually act upon, were possible and attainable.

Since then, there started growing a drive to push the boundaries of life in as many directions as possible. Whether learning how to operate a new mode of transportation, starting a business that you know nothing about, or picking up and moving to volunteer in a different country for a while – all of this was driven in part by the inherent value of the activity, but also to simply prove to yourself that you can actually do it. That there is nothing impossible about it and nothing that you can’t handle.

If our reality is part the circumstances of the world around us; and part of what we create it out to be, why not create a reality where everything is attainable – that is if you really want it and work to get it.

Does the Journey Matters More Than the Destination?

I had a 4-hour bus trip planned this weekend from Boston to New York. The trip is a fairly regular one that I take every 2-3 weeks. But as I was booking the ticket and planning what I’ll be able to do on the bus, I realized that I’m looking forward to the journey as much – if not more – than the actual destination itself. There’s a special feeling when you pack your backpack, close the door to your house and set off – whether for just a day or a month.

It’s been true in many instances before. When I had a chance to live in 3 countries and visit 12 over the course of 8 months, I found immense satisfaction in planning the journey and the actual travel between destinations. Getting to the location was the goal at the end and gave meaning to the journey, but it was always bittersweet when I actually got there, as it meant that the journey itself was over. Before long, I was already planning the next leg of the trip.

I think I’m not the only one who feels this way. Chris Guillebeau, man who decided to travel to every country in the world within 5 years and the author of Art of Non-Conformity blog, reports that for him, he enjoys travel just for traveling sake. The audacious plan to visit every country justifies it, but he finds the actual process as enjoyable as the destinations. There is certainly a feeling of freedom and adventure that you feel right before and during the journey.

So, for the next trip or vacation, perhaps the journey should be viewed as an integral part of the trip – rather than an obstacle than stands between you and the destination?

Why You Should Quit Your Job and Move to a New Country

The Vagabond

A while back, I’ve stumbled across a piece of interesting research on something called “Existential Migration”. Developed by a psychologist, Greg Madison, it looks into a certain demographic of people that feel the urge for constant migration from one place to the other.

Unlike the typical push-or-pull migration we’re familiar with, these folks are not motivated by economic reasons, unstable situation in their home country, or a simple desire for travel. Rather, it’s a way of fulfilling deeper desires and the attempt to answer deeper “existential” questions about themselves – “who am I, what am I meant to be doing and where do I belong?”

On a blog where this research was recently discussed, a reader made an interesting comment that put the concept together: “I think there is an itch of dissatisfaction in many of our lives. Perhaps it is an intrinsic part of the human condition. Certainly in Britain, I think many people of my generation (I’m 31) are slightly lost. No longer religious, and dissatisfied with consumer culture, finding meaning in the daily grind is difficult…”

Madison provided a few interesting case studies of people he researched that embraced this lifestyle. One is a case of Alan, a successful banking executive from Maryland currently working in London. After leaving Maryland, he spent a year in New York, two years in Netherlands, currently on his third year in London – and yet again, he’s getting ready to pick up and move, this time to Lisbon.

People like Alan can often find familiarity suffocating or dull. What turns their switch and makes them feel alive is the feelings and processes associated with being a foreigner in a new land.

What’s fascinating is that Alan, without taking travel into consideration, made a number of life decisions – such as picking a career, education, etc. – that would increase his likelyhood of such lifestyle. In fact, for him, it can be even strange that most of the people around him have no desire to leave home, but are rather quite happy to plan their lives around friends and family and the familiar streets where they had grown up.

Unfortunately, this lifestyle comes with its share of downfalls. It looks like the thrill of moving wears off after a while – which is quite evident in Alan’s case, as he’s getting ready to move to a 4th country within 8 years.

Nick, the reader from the news site who was quoted earlier, added – “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past 10 years, it’s that upping and leaving for pastures new is in some ways a stop-gap. It may temporarily scratch that itch of dissatisfaction, but it doesn’t kill it….”

Having the Cake and Eating it Too

As I continued to think about the concept of existential migration, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was some sort of a middle ground. If there is a way to get that thrill of moving and experience of exploring a whole new land, without abandoning everything you’ve built up until that point. On a personal level, I feel quite happy with the life and opportunities that the U.S. has to offer, but often earn for the rich and satisfying experiences that living in a new place can offer.

Perhaps the key is with like everything else in life – do it in small doses.

Is it possible to consciously build a life style that would allow to pick up and move to a new country for about 4-6 months every 3 years or so? I think there are two pieces that would have to come together for this to work:

- Ability to leave work behind for an extended period of time or the ability to work remotely – both of these options are quite possible in today’s world. With the former, it’s almost expected that people will be switching their jobs every 2-3 years, so why not use the time in between to enrich your life with other experiences.

If you are a freelancer or own your own business, you have the ability to construct your business, lifestyle and schedules in such a way that would allow you to do this. And, if you can work from anywhere, even better! There is hi-speed internet and good coffee in every part of the world these days.

- Ability to do something productive wherever you move. Your experience in a new country will be richer by an order of magnitude if you tie yourself into the fabric of everyday life and get to interact with the local population through work. It doesn’t even necessarily need to be paid (if you can afford to skip a salary) – volunteering does a similar job.

Having a routine, bonding and growing closer with a group of colleagues, and actually making a contribution to the place where you live will give you a much richer experience altogether.

Naturally, as people read this, the first natural reaction for many is - “This could work for somebody else, but not for for me. My situation is just too complex. If I take half a year break after leaving a job, I’ll never find another one. There is no way that I could do my current job remotely. It’s just too much risk. I have no skills to bring elsewhere. Maybe when I retire…”

Some people may be right.

However, for most, this is just an automatic reaction against the possibility of dramatic, life-adjusting change. If you’re the type of person to be reading this blog, chances are that you can find a way to make this work. It just has to be approached creatively and you would like need to consciously make some very specific choices and sacrifices. If you want this, of course – not everyone does.

Why Do It?

There are a few things that I think you can get out of experiences like this:

New Language - if you’ve ever wanted to learn a new language but never had the time to actually do it, this is a damn good way to start. Six months in the actual country would accelerate the learning pace significantly – as opposed to simply taking language courses back at home. And just imagine that within a course of the next 10-12 years, you can gain conversational knowledge of 3 more languages (if you can find a way to practice them when you return)!

Inexpensive – cost of living becomes much lower in most of parts of the world if you settle there to live (as opposed to simply visiting as a tourist for a few weeks). For example, you can live very comfortably in most parts of the world for about $600-1,000/mo. Air travel is expensive, but if you have flexibility on dates and move there for at least a few months, it’s not that much in the grand of scheme. So, if you look at the maximum cost and say that you need a total of $6,000 for 6 months of living abroad and $1,000 for roundtrip airfare and do it every 3 years – you just need to save about $6/day to make it happen.

Travel Within Travel - one of the best parts about living in a different region of the world is that you have the opportunity to explore all of the nearby countries on the cheap. Take Asia, for example. Many of their low-cost air carriers offer flights to and from virtually every country in the region starting at just $20-40 one-way (quick search shows that a typical flight from Bangkok, Thailand to Phnom Penh, Cambodia is just $43.41 – taxes included). Within just a few months, you can end up visiting half a dozen countries or more.

Creative Rebirth – with an established routine back at home, it’s easy to find yourself caught up in the everyday busyness of things. Whether your job depends on creativity or if you just want to take a “time out” to re-evaluate where you are and set the direction for the next few years, putting yourself in a brand new context can have a dramatic impact. It goes beyond the impact you could get from a regular vacation. It’s not simply about giving your body a rest, but rather having the opportunity to be exposed to a new set of ideas, perspectives and people.

New Friends Around The World - last, but certainly not least, when you’re living somewhere for an extended period of time, you actually have an opportunity to make friends all over the world. There is a reason why many Peace Corps volunteers, who often spend 2 years on their placement, often say that the friendships they make out there become life long. You may not get to see them on a daily basis when you return back home, but you will always have a friendly face happy to see you in all corners of the world.

—

“… “The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land… ”
- G. K. Chesterton

The Unexpected Danger of Volunteering in the Developing World

In 2009, I’ve spent 7 seven months volunteering in Asia. The experience was very interesting on many levels, so this year, I was thinking of going somewhere again for a couple of weeks or a month to volunteer on some other projects.

Over the last few years, there have been a number of companies that popped up that specialize in voluntourism – where instead of lying on the beach in the Bahamas, you can choose to spend your vacation in the developing world working on some volunteer project.

I started looking into it, but couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong with the concept of short-term volunteering in the developing world.

Why Do People LIKE To Volunteer in the Developing World

Thinking back about my own time in Central Asia and in India, as well as the experience of many other people who did something similar, one thought kept crossing my mind.

It was really a good experience for us to volunteer there.

On one level, it satisfies our internal ego and wanting to perceive ourselves as doing good for the world. Whether or no, we really made a sizable contribution, it felt that we were making a difference.

As a Western volunteer in a place like Africa, Asia, South America, etc. – you get a lot of attention. Depending on where you are (i.e. living in a small village or a community), you even become your own pseudo-celebrity, where everybody wants to talk to you, be your friend, offer you meals, and so on. Because you stand out and are perceived as a Westerner, you get treated very well. And compared to back home, where you could be an average Joe or Jill, that feels good.

And lastly, although you are living in a developing country, in conditions that are likely way below your typical level of comfort, deep down, you know that this is only temporary. You may not have running water or electricity for the time being, but you are able to comfort yourself with the thought that in a couple of weeks, you’ll be going back home to your regular comforts. As such, it feels more like an adventure or a “discovery” – which just adds to the overall experience.

So, what can I do?

The purpose of this article is not to turn people off from volunteering, but rather to get them to re-evaluate the reasons they are doing it and their expectations.

- Don’t approach this as if you’re a white knight coming to an impoverished community to save them. The reality is that your contribution will likely be quite small – not insignificant, but small nevertheless.

- Make the commitment to do the work. Some of the voluntourism programs offer you to travel there, work 2-3 hours a day, and then spend the rest of the time on excursions and relaxations. I think that undermines the whole purpose. If you want to travel and relax, travel and relax. If you want to volunteer, commit to it fully, make it the focal point of the trip and make the most of your time there.

- Understand the reasons why you’re doing it. To some people, it will be the desire to see another culture and learn something about themselves and others. To others, it will be to satisfy their internal ego and desire to make a difference. Whatever the reason is – be honest with yourself and what you want to get out of it.

- Turn it into a longer trip, if possible. Your impact will grow exponentially the more time you spend there. Keep in mind that it will take a few weeks just to get settled in, understand the project, get to know people and establish trust from the locals. To really connect with the community, you need to give yourself time.

- Consider what skills you can bring. Granted, if you are a doctor or an engineer and you’re going there, you will be able to contribute significantly more, as your skills would be very valued there. But whatever your strong points are, make sure that you’re able to give something – rather than ending up a drain on the resources of the host organization.

To conclude this, I have to admit that I am just as guilty of most of these elements. When I started to volunteer, I had a lot of misconceptions over what it will be like, what I’ll be able to accomplish, and what impact I’ll be able to make.

But at the end of the day, we have to be honest with ourselves – do we really want to go and make a difference or do we just want to feel better about ourselves and have a good story to tell?